Evening Pages: April 26th, 2020

Due to the coronavirus pandemic, the D.C. metro region has been in a state of lockdown. To alleviate fear and stress, my writer's group has put together a daily "morning pages" get-together on Zoom in order to touch base before starting the day. Here's some of my brief thoughts.

This little one is going somewhere:

kitten with suitcase

I sure hope he has fun!

So today was pretty shit. Honestly my weekends have been pretty shit in general, for like the past two months. Not sure whether it's the change in schedule, or whether it's because I can't really go out anymore and see other people working intensely, or because my phone isn't locked up, or because YouTube doesn't block correctly in my /etc/hosts file / Firefox keeps YouTube in its cache, but I just can't shake my weekends being so...fucking unproductive.

I'm pretty terrified. Especially with last Thursday, I had a really off day where I had only four hours of sleep and got no work done, it's not hard to imagine that very slowly, I'll be slipping more and more and more and more until I'm just a couch potato. I'm so fucking terrified of being a couch potato. Of being useless. Of being disposable.

If I had to focus on the good things in life. So I did buy some stuff today. I bought some more chopsticks and a hair clipper on Amazon, and caught up with a friend. I reviewed a thesis. Pulled in a bunch of Amazon packages and looked at the mail. I mean, it's not nothing. Just not where I want to be.

Maybe I should pack up like that kitten and just...like...do something. I don't know. Kittens are smarter than I am. At least they can't get the corona.