Morning Pages, March 20th, 2020

Due to the coronavirus pandemic, the D.C. metro region has been in a state of partial lockdown. To alleviate fear and stress, my writer's group has put together a daily "morning pages" get-together on Zoom in order to touch base before starting the day. Here's some of my brief thoughts.

1 million dead in Madrid by June. Apparently, that's one realistic estimate right now. A 100x increase in intubator orders and I'm guessing nowhere near the amount of capacity to fill them. People are wondering why China is flatlining in numbers of infected individuals and think they're lying. China conducted a nationwide quarantine, blocking people from leaving their apartment complex, and (according to some untrustworthy sources) even going so far as to weld the apartment door shut. They did this when the number of confirmed cases jumped 400 in a day, and ended up with around 81,000 infected. Meanwhile over here, POTUS outbid governors for ventilators while also telling them they should purchase ventilators from the manufacturers. People are saying how he's trying to hoard all the ventilators for "red" states and punish the "blue" states. I don't think a coordinated response is possible at this point.

On a positive note, maybe millenials will be the 21st century's version of "the greatest generation", because we'll survive so much going into the future. That'd be a hoot. If you live in interesting times, make the most of it.

Yesterday wasn't too productive. I'm a bit scared that when I bet all chips into this sabbatical, I'm going to lose because I don't care about myself. I did apply to YC on a whim, don't expect to get in though. Also need to ensure that I stay laser focused on what I'm doing, because I don't think I can afford to divert my attention. I took a look at some volunteering opportunities, but they're very design-by-commitee and hastily put together. I asked some people in a call yesterday whether I could contribute, and they said it's fine. I take them at their word because onboarding somebody new would be a dramatic shift in resource management and a possible waste of time for them.

It's really hard to get some stuff out of my head. I'm probably most worried about myself, and whether by June or July I'll still be able to find a job that I like and can stay at for maybe the next four years or so. I just want to work on something interesting, work hard and move forward in a direction I like, and have a reason to look forward to the eight or more hours a day I'll spend working and a reason to get out of bed and look myself in the mirror. I don't know, and it's scary.

But I think it's still better than sticking with either of the previous companies I worked for, where by the end I turned into a husk of my former self, and I'm in a better position than probably 70% of the rest of the country, if not more. I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I'm not going to let that stop me from executing on my vision of what success will look like.

Lots of kids playing around yesterday in the park. That was pretty neat.