Values-Based Identity

From "The Confidence Gap", by Russ Harris:

Values are your heart’s deepest desires for how you want to behave as a human being. Values are not about what you want to get or achieve; they are about how you want to behave or act on an ongoing basis.

There are literally hundreds of different values, but below you’ll find a list of the most common ones. Probably, not all of them will be relevant to you. Keep in mind there are no such things as ‘right values’ or ‘wrong values’. It’s a bit like our taste in pizzas. If you prefer ham and pineapple but I prefer salami and olives, that doesn’t mean that my taste in pizzas is right and yours is wrong. It just means we have different tastes. And similarly, we may have different values. So read through the list below and write a letter next to each value: V = Very important, Q = Quite important, and N = Not so important; and make sure to score at least ten of them as Very important.

My results, as of 12/28/2022.
AcceptanceTo be open to and accepting of myself, others, life, etc.V
AdventureTo be adventurous; to actively seek, create, or explore novel or stimulating experiences.N
AssertivenessTo respectfully stand up for my rights and request what I want.V
AuthenticityTo be authentic, genuine, real; to be true to myself.V
BeautyTo appreciate, create, nurture or cultivate beauty in myself, others, the environment, etc.N
CaringTo be caring towards myself, others, the environment, etc.Q
ChallengeTo keep challenging myself to grow, learn, and improve.V
CompassionTo act with kindness towards those who are suffering.Q
ConnectionTo engage fully in whatever I am doing, and be fully present with others.Q
ContributionTo contribute, help, assist, or make a positive difference to myself or others.Q
ConformityTo be respectful and obedient of rules and obligations.N
CooperationTo be cooperative and collaborative with others.Q
CourageTo be courageous or brave; to persist in the face of fear, threat, or difficulty.V
CreativityTo be creative or innovative.N
CuriosityTo be curious, open-minded and interested; to explore and discover.Q
EncouragementTo encourage and reward behaviour that I value in myself or others.V
EqualityTo treat others as equal to myself, and vice-versa.Q
ExcitementTo seek, create and engage in activities that are exciting, stimulating or thrilling.Q
FairnessTo be fair to myself or others.Q
FitnessTo maintain or improve my fitness; to look after my physical and mental health and wellbeing.V
FlexibilityTo adjust and adapt readily to changing circumstances.Q
FreedomTo live freely; to choose how I live and behave, or help others do likewise.V
FriendlinessTo be friendly, companionable, or agreeable towards others.Q
ForgivenessTo be forgiving towards myself or others.Q
FunTo be fun-loving; to seek, create, and engage in fun-filled activities.N
GenerosityTo be generous, sharing andgiving, to myself or others.N
GratitudeTo be grateful for and appreciative of the positive aspects of myself, others and life.V
HonestyTo be honest, truthful, and sincere with myself and others.V
HumourTo see and appreciate the humorous side of life.V
HumilityTo be humble or modest; to let my achievements speak for themselves.Q
IndustryTo be industrious, hard-working, dedicated.V
IndependenceTo be self-supportive, and choose my own way of doing things.V
IntimacyTo open up, reveal, and share myself -- emotionally or physically – in my close personal relationships.N
JusticeTo uphold justice and fairness.N
KindnessTo be kind, compassionate, considerate, nurturing or caring towards myself or others.Q
LoveTo act lovingly or affectionately towards myself or others.Q
MindfulnessTo be conscious of, open to, and curious about my here-and-now experience.Q
OrderTo be orderly and organized.Q
Open-mindednessTo think things through, see things from other’s points of view, and weigh evidence fairly.Q
PatienceTo wait calmly for what I want.N
PersistenceTo continue resolutely, despite problems or difficulties.V
PleasureTo create and give pleasure to myself or others.N
PowerTo strongly influence or wield authority over others, e.g. taking charge, leading, organizing.Q
ReciprocityTo build relationships in which there is a fair balance of giving and taking.Q
RespectTo be respectful towards myself or others; to be polite, considerate and show positive regard.Q
ResponsibilityTo be responsible and accountable for my actions.V
RomanceTo be romantic; to display and express love or strong affection.Q
SafetyTo secure, protect, or ensure safety of myself or others.Q
Self-awarenessTo be aware of my own thoughts, feelings and actions.V
Self-careTo look after my health and wellbeing, and get my needs met.V
Self-developmentTo keep growing, advancing or improving in knowledge, skills, character, or life experience.Q
Self-controlTo act in accordance with my own ideals.Q
SensualityTo create, explore and enjoy experiences that stimulate the five senses.N
SexualityTo explore or express my sexuality.N
SpiritualityTo connect with things bigger than myself.N
SkillfulnessTo continually practice and improve my skills, and apply myself fully when using them.Q
SupportivenessTo be supportive, helpful, encouraging, and available to myself or others.Q
TrustTo be trustworthy; to be loyal, faithful, sincere, and reliable.Q