Morning Pages: April 23rd, 2020

Due to the coronavirus pandemic, the D.C. metro region has been in a state of lockdown. To alleviate fear and stress, my writer's group has put together a daily "morning pages" get-together on Zoom in order to touch base before starting the day. Here's some of my brief thoughts.

Folks, there's a cuteness market on the interwebs whether we like it or not. Some days are just cuter than others. I think I need a savings strategy for cuteness, to put into my cuteness bank, to tide myself over during times where there aren't as many cute pictures and videos.

Today's not that day though! Here are two videos and a picture!

Look at these two little guys! Time don't mean nothing to them:


Time does mean something to these little ones though, they're taking the time to nap:

And look at this cute little baby Earth!! Ahhhhhhhh

I woke up at 6:15AM today. After sleeping at 2:00AM. And I'm wide awake, because I had a horrible nightmare. I worked for $MEGACORP_NAME and I "surrendered my freedom for a few extra bucks". Honestly, this was probably the most terrifying nightmare since I had those ones about $RACHEL. Maybe even a bit more so.

Here's an comment on Linux kernel lockdown that kind of describes what I'm going through. I guess I'm firmly a deontologist, I really like having the freedom to shoot myself in the foot because it gives me more freedom. I have managed to shoot myself in the foot many times. Wouldn't give up my freedom. I guess that is why, after two months of working on TinyDev, I'm still working on it, going down to defining my own VPCs and subnets, and quite possibly my own routing tables, DHCP options, ACLs, and CIDR blocks, because I can't imagine granting control of something like that to somebody else.

TinyDev is a dashboard slapped onto a database. It's not meant to be hard. But it is. It's not like I can't do things quickly. I mean, just yesterday, I shipped this app on Netlify for a volunteer COVID-19 thing in two hours. I think...I think I just ship quickly when I don't care as much, as bad as that sounds.

I mean, how can you not know things? There's no excuse, you're a sentient human being. Yet if you got a pre-frontal lobotomy and relied purely on primal instincts, you might be better off.

I have a hard time reconciling this fact. Maybe it's not meant to be reconciled. Right now the fear is so primal I pretty much burst out of bed in a cold sweat and made some tea. First time all year that's happened. I guess I'll take it, because I've been meaning to start my day at 7:00AM ever since I started doing so last year (and fell out of the habit when I went home for Christmas break).