Morning Pages: May 5th, 2020

Due to the coronavirus pandemic, the D.C. metro region has been in a state of lockdown. To alleviate fear and stress, my writer's group has put together a daily "morning pages" get-together on Zoom in order to touch base before starting the day. Here's some of my brief thoughts.

Cute kitty video! With sound! gfycat on web is a much better experience than gfycat on mobile, or at least it's better with more CPU and more RAM:

So we got a prompt today, what is your favorite or least favorite emotion, and Ali posted this feelings wheel where we can describe where we are. I think my favorite emotion is "courageous", and the worst emotion is "apathetic". I like being able to push deeper into things, and courage is what allows me to do that. Conversely, apathy is what destroys courage, so I see that as its opposite emotion. I'm most terrified of not knowing things, even after I'm halfway reading through the Incerto series, it's a very primal and base fear, and so I really value the ability to push through that fear to know more about my surroundings.

I'm not quite sure if I've mentioned this yet, but I've been looking at the state of the world and thinking now is a good time to start a company. It's not really an explainable feeling, and it's not a rational one either. But I feel compelled that I should start a company and try really hard to be free, truly free. And to attain that freedom, I'll start a company, and if it fails another, and another, until I win, or until the chances are spent.

It seems funny, the childhood days of lying in a basket and playing with mom like that kitten above seem rather far away. Now we have responsibilities, our bones aren't made of cartilege anymore, and things seem more worn and familiar. I wonder if the innocence that leads to curiosity can really ever come back, or whether we have to craft it in a lab in the mind like some sort of Frankenstein. I guess we'll just never know, unless we have the courage to push forwards.

To finish off morning pages, here's a poem by Reddit user u/SchnoodleDoodleDo on this Reddit post about a cat becoming a mom: this is what it's all about,

i wondered at the start...

you stayed with me - i had no doubt

my humans wouldn't part!

n now, you see the family

i've brought to you, to share

cuz you're the ones who first loved me,

n taught me how to care

i'll hold them close, the best i can

to keep them safe n calm

n thanks to You i understand

just how to be