Morning Pages: May 27th, 2020

Due to the coronavirus pandemic, the D.C. metro region has been in a state of lockdown. To alleviate fear and stress, my writer's group has put together a daily "morning pages" get-together on Zoom in order to touch base before starting the day. Here's some of my brief thoughts.

He's got the jiggles!

Weird, when I look back at the current frequency of coming to morning pages, I've liked only odd days for this week, and missed all the even days. I think it just takes a while for my willpower (yeah, still having to rely on willpower like a coal-fired bunker) to charge back up.

I think I have this particular proclivity for underestimating certain tasks. Not least to mention that this software project has already eaten up four months of my life (middle of January to end of May, with an end only barely in sight), but also in things like re-estimating tasks after finding out more information. I trend towards the "optimistic" (probably closer to arrogant) side of estimating, which after failing to meet said self-imposed deadline, results in bitter anguish and deep frustrating to a degree.

Even something as simple as cleaning my apartment, or stretching, or doing a meditation routine, I've put off and haven't really kept track of, and it's been gathering cobwebs in the back of my to-do list. I'm getting better at "gracefully failing", though, so I think that's a plus. So I manage to do certain routines, but not others, with the hope that one day, I'll manage to get back to where I was. The big thing being not giving up.